From 8th August 2024 to the present day, I have been frequenting a Fourth Space.
And what is a Fourth Space, one may ask. If a Third Space is a physical location that is neither one's home nor office – think: Starbucks – then a Fourth Space is a Third Space with the co-existence of the Internet sphere. Think about conference venues with a live-stream where remote viewers can participate in the Question-and-Answer segment of a discussion panel. [footnote 1].
What I have learnt
I refer to a book by Brené Brown, titled: “Braving the Wilderness:
The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone”.
That particular Fourth Space was – has been, and still is, and quite likely will be – a frightening wilderness. After almost a year, I have nearly forgotten how intimidating it was for me, to first open the door. Hence I think newcomers to the space will probably still feel that fright today. (Hence the importance of a welcoming host, behind the door.)
One year later, I can say to myself: you're doing fine by yourself in the wilderness. Congrats, you did it all alone. (With the help of your spiritual disciplines, of course.) And other people have appeared in the wilderness, and they are doing fine by themselves too. It's solitude meeting solitude.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
– Gospel of Matthew, chapter 5, verse 9
It is interesting how the Buddha has calmed down the warriors of two separate clans, who were on the verge of a war. (the story is there.)
I didn't set out to be a mediator. But, lest readers think more of me than my low estate, I shall keep the details of certain shenanigans to myself. Suffice to say that both professional workplaces and domestic abodes have seen their share of strife, whether overt or covert.
I have been working hard to find a peace-of-mind, which is so sought-after and yet so elusive. (Not even Prime Ministers and business-owners may find this peace-of-mind, though they may certainly boast of more gold bullions and nuclear bombs than me.)
A collection of quotes that spoke to me. Inspired by Ruskin Bond's book, “Little Book of Everything”.
Beware: ahead lies mentions of religion, spirituality and various unmentionables.
from Henry David Thoreau. “Civil Disobedience and Other Essays”.
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things..
from Ralph Waldo Emerson:
What is success?
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch Or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!
from Charlie Mackesy. “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse”.
“When things get difficult remember who you are.”
'Who am I?' asked the boy.
'You are loved,' said the horse.
from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. “The little prince”. (Chapter 21).
“Goodbye,” he said.
“Goodbye,” said the fox. “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
“What is essential is invisible to the eye,” the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
“It is the time I have wasted for my rose—” said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.
“Men have forgotten this truth,” said the fox. “But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . .”
“I am responsible for my rose,” the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
From John Pritchard's book, “Why go to church?” (Page 18):
Making the effort to put ourselves into a place of glad gratitude is nearly always worthwhile. It changes our point of view. It says: 'this is what I was made for. This is where I'm meant to be.' and gradually, oh so gradually, we become a fraction more like the one we worship.
It was my first time buying a bottle of wine. Previously, I had only bought wine by the glass, at various bars. And, of course, the sales assistant now seized the opportunity to brainwash me into buying more than I could conceivably drink. (Probably she was in danger of losing her job if she couldn't meet her sales target for the month. But, dear madame, I can't mend your life at the expense of my budget.) I turned her down firmly, at least three times.
With a big thank-you to my father, who generously sponsored my school-fees.
This is an attempt to bring myself some closure.
let's begin
I enjoyed accessing the university's Central Library (as contrasted to, say, the library of the University's Conservatory of Music.) Never underestimate the power of an old library. I loved wandering
through the aisles of strange, fragrant books. As the saying goes: “An old library is a good place to be lost.”
“There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless.
So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun.”
the Biblical Book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter 8, verses 14 to 15
In the interests of (limited) time, I will condense my experiences into three categories: Fun, Done and Learnt.
filming a music video
Date: 3 May 2025 (Saturday), 8 PM
Learnt: Actresses with pretty faces require special help from nearby humans, to wick off (inconvenient) perspiration that forms on their bodies – all these have to be prepared with them, before they appear on camera.
Done: I informed a young gentleman about the freegan – or otherwise money-less – lifestyle.
A couple of social workers from Taiwan have visited our little island recently to acquaint themselves with the situation of homelessness here.
My takeaway: information on an upcoming event in Seoul.
From Agent L (a pseudonym): “This conference will explore housing policies and the situation of homeless people and migrant-workers in Japan, Korea, Hong Kong and Taiwan. It features multiple site visits and local engagement.”
Yesterday was my first time attending a performance of Shakespeare's plays. I have read a number of his texts before (Othello, and The Tempest, just to name a few) but actors bring a new dimension to the performance. As my acting-lessons coach once said, “The text is dead. Actors have creative freedom to choose how they want to emote the words.”
Of course, the behind-the-scenes crew, and not just the cast, are outstanding in their individual and collective genius – time does not suffice to list all their luminary contributions.
Included in the crew are Rayann Condy (as Intimacy Director), and Matt Hutchinson (in the department of Puppets, Puppetry Design & Direction). And Lee Yew Jin (sound design), and Peps Goh (fight-choreography).
I would like to highlight the physical space as another actor in its (her?) own right. The venue is Fort Canning Park. As the sun lowered itself behind skyscrapers – which, in the blue light of dusk, glowed softly with a thousand electric lights – a couple of large birds (wildlife, not props) soared above the greenery. “Eagles,” my companion-for-the-evening said. What a strange sound they are making, I thought. I've never heard them vocalise before.
The combined forces were impressive. More than 80 choir members glided onto the stage, clothed in black, as if they were wraiths, now summoned to writhe before the Final Judge, before whom no one can be found blameless.
And I, a shame-faced mortal, sat with my flesh, (which is unceasingly beset with attacks of urine and excrement), awaiting the Strings section to stab the air with dramatic statements of tension and unease.
