Tony's stash of textual information

I hope you find something beneficial here

I am a firm believer that “actions speak louder than words.”

A leech is known by its blood-sucking deed. A kind person is known by his deeds of kindness. Hence, a leader is known by his – or her – deeds of leadership.

A wise elder reminds me that when I act out of love and compassion, it might not be what my recipient wants. For example, a drug addict may want more drugs. But is it an act of love to supply more drugs to that addict? Or is it mere indulgence?

I hope I am giving them what they need, not merely what they want.

Note to myself: be prepared to be disliked. “The cost of influence is criticism.”

Further reading:

  1. Seth Godin. “Tribes: we need you to lead us.” (2008).
  2. Rich Karlgaard and Michael S. Malone. “Team Genius: The new science of high-performing organizations.” (2015).
  3. Ong-Ang Ai Boon with Janice Tai. “It's not me: 40 years as director of The Association of Banks in Singapore”. (2023).
  4. Mark Boyle. “The moneyless man: A year of freeconomic living.” (2010).
  5. The Buddha. “The eight worldly conditions”.

what I have learnt after a decade in the Food & Beverage Industry

I have worked as a bartender – more specifically, a bar-back, a manual labourer who assists the bar captain with washing glassware.

I have worked as a barista, making coffee with expensive machines, at both slow-paced and fast-paced outlets.

I have worked as a cook, preparing dishes according to a specified recipe (I must have cooked tens of plates, if not hundreds of plates, throughout my cooking career.)

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who can show me wisdom, when even the richest man on earth cannot save himself from the inevitable malfunction of his own body parts in old age, and death?

I looked up a old text, which warned of the dangers of heedlessness, and the reckless pursuit of distractions, in an unguarded moment of lack- of-wisdom.

It is at:

https://ancient-buddhist-texts.net/English-Texts/Jatakas/526-Nalinikas-Story.htm

Or:

https://web.archive.org/web/20120530214310/https://ancient-buddhist-texts.net/English-Texts/Jatakas/526-Nalinikas-Story.htm

Only wisdom can enable me to discern faithful friend from flattering foe. As the old saying goes: “Not all that glitters is gold.”

According to the Bible, my sister Wisdom has her source in God, the Creator of all universes. (C.f. Book of Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes ).

Ten nights have passed since I last saw you This morning looks so sunny Walking next to strangers, I want to see you again

I know you had a younger man beside you, at work I had a younger woman beside me, at dinner A mist stopped me from seeing your silhouette on the pink horizon my voice was silent, I don't know why

Someone plays Beethoven's music in the background nobody knows who Elise is nobody knows who you are anyway, how does Elise see Beethoven, did you ever wonder?

thank you, thank you for loving me now I know even worms can taste happiness as they die in the darkness.

thank you, and I love you

#songs

When I rented a bed in a flat in Sengkang (not a room itself, but a bed in a room that I had to share with an incendiary older man who always seemed to sigh without even uttering a word) my landlady's fiance adopted a baby cat.

I watched it grow in size. It dashed around the cluttered place at 2 AM. Was it awake because I was awake, or the other way around? Or maybe it had its own life, and I was a mere witness; it would be self-absorbed of me, in a delusional way – egotistical – to think that its life revolved around my existence. No, no, my existence was no matter – she had a life entirely separate from mine. And I was the helpless little barely-intact ship that had gotten swept up in the maelstrom of her existence.

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It was L.H. who started the ball rolling.

Hi guys, just a conversation starter prompted by a friend who is very involved in community organisation: – What are people’s thoughts around the topic of mutual aid and charity? – What do these terms mean to you, and how are they different? – How do they show up in your life, if at all? – What questions emerge from this brief reflection?

Let me answer briefly.

What are people’s thoughts around the topic of mutual aid and charity?

I think people do want to help others – who may not be related by blood to them – they just don't know how. (and, indeed, who to help). but my own experience has been that when I was in severe desperate need, the right help came at the right time.

“charity” seems like a tainted word in Singapore – incentivised by tax deductions and appearances on Lists of Honoured Donors -

“mutual aid” was something new to me, I only learnt about it during Covid times – but burn-out became a real thing – the organisers were burnt out – I wasn't an organiser, just a participant in my own small way – but my phone was ringing at strange hours with desperate, gut-wrenchingly worded requests for food and cash – it seemed I was slipping into an endless ocean of endless suffering.

I had to limit my own involvement in mutual aid, for my own peace-of-mind.

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This list is not exhaustive.

  1. Amazing grace (23 Nov 2024)
  2. 10,000 reasons (30 Nov 2024)
  3. Silent night (21 Dec 2024)
  4. Hark the herald (28 Dec 2024)
  5. Holy forever (4 Jan 2025)
  6. How great is our god (11 Jan 2025)
  7. Living hope (18 Jan 2025)

#lists

I have benefitted from the labours of poets and poetesses from decades past – and centuries past – and I have no way of expressing my gratitude except to “pay it forward” (as the younger set says) – I have received freely and now I give freely.

In no particular order, I list poems that have helped me at pivotal moments in my life.

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Storms and waves on every side But Jesus says, “no need to hide” only in a still, small voice can we hear the whispers of Christ

Oh! clang and noise of war! and our wounds so sore! “where is God?” we cry helplessly but Jesus says, “I'm in the boat, with thee”

“do you believe – wind and sea obey me – or, do you crave – even more faith – ?”

as wise elders say: the greatest thing you can learn is to love and be loved in return

credits

  1. Picture by Rembrandt, (1633). Christ in the storm on the lake of Galilee.
  2. Lyrics popularised by Nat King Cole, in the song, titled “Nature Boy” (1948): The greatest thing you'll ever learn / is just to love / and be loved in return.

#poems

The titular quote is from the Book of Proverbs in the Holy Bible: Chapter 3, Verse 14.

In truth, more desirable than rubies, silver and fine gold is wisdom.

But who can have enough faith to receive such wisdom? (which God most generously provides to all who ask, without reproach).

I have identified an Internet-user who goes by the moniker of Hanie Unagi. Ms. Unagi writes thus:

Today, I found myself reflecting on addiction—specifically, how I overcame mine. Though I choose not to disclose what I was addicted to, I can say this: I feel an incredible sense of freedom now that I have let it go.

In therapy, my counselor and I explored the roots of addiction. One profound cause stood out to me, not in her own words, but expressed so poignantly in Pia Mellody's Facing Codependence: “Addiction grows out of the absence of healthy love.” This resonated deeply. It felt like my addiction was a symptom of an unmet need for radical, unconditional love—a concept both abstract and profound, yet one I’ve come to understand through my own journey.

For the longest time, I was an agnostic. It wasn’t because I rejected religion, but because I didn’t know which path was mine to take. Eventually, I found my way to Islam, and it transformed everything. Unlocking the spirituality within Islam led me to experience the radical, unconditional love of the Divine. This love empowered me to detach from my addiction, freeing me in ways I never thought possible.

I’ve come to believe that everyone has their own medium of healing. For some, it’s religion or spirituality; for others, it may be hypnotherapy, rehabilitation, or something entirely different. There is no single path, but I am certain there is something out there for everyone. I send my deepest hope that those in pain will find their way to healing.

I used to cry out of pain and despair. Now, I cry because of the overwhelming love and healing I have received. It took years of struggle, introspection, and surrender to get here, but I am finally free. Addiction no longer defines or confines me. My heart overflows with gratitude, and I wish this freedom and peace for everyone walking a similar path. Healing is possible. Freedom is possible. And there is hope for us all.

  • 21 November 2024, 9 PM