How would you like to die? Or, how would I like to die?
At the age of thirty-five, I like to think I am in possession of as pain-free a body as I could ever hope to have, in my brief mortal life. It is only downhill from here. Diabetes, high blood pressure, toe amputations, brittle bones that crack painfully with every accidental stumble – my elders have illustrated painfully the realities of the latter decades of fragile human flesh.
Not to mention what everyone has been whispering since Covid: this is the End-times.
Like it or not, my days are numbered. It has been so since the day my mother pushed this hunk of flesh out of her birth canal.
There is an urgency to live wisely – and not just knowledgeably. Knowledge is about facts, whereas wisdom is about knowing the difference between what matters in life, and what does not.
I have encountered a number of prompts from a certain John Izzo, (PhD). Let me attempt them, as inexperienced as I am, (as I ponder the vast yet beautiful wilderness of this star-strewn cosmic galaxy.)
Pretend you are at a dinner party, and everyone is sitting in a circle. The host invites each person to take just a few minutes to describe the life she has lived. If you were at the party and you wanted people to know as much about your life as possible in those few minutes, what would you say? Describe the life you have lived thus far.
I gave everything up to follow what God told me to do.
I am a firm believer that “actions speak louder than words.”
A leech is known by its blood-sucking deed. A kind person is known by his deeds of kindness. Hence, a leader is known by his – or her – deeds of leadership.
A wise elder reminds me that when I act out of love and compassion, it might not be what my recipient wants. For example, a drug addict may want more drugs. But is it an act of love to supply more drugs to that addict? Or is it mere indulgence?
I hope I am giving them what they need, not merely what they want.
Note to myself: be prepared to be disliked. “The cost of influence is criticism.”
Further reading:
Seth Godin. “Tribes: we need you to lead us.” (2008).
Rich Karlgaard and Michael S. Malone. “Team Genius: The new science of high-performing organizations.” (2015).
Ong-Ang Ai Boon with Janice Tai. “It's not me: 40 years as director of The Association of Banks in Singapore”. (2023).
Mark Boyle. “The moneyless man: A year of freeconomic living.” (2010).
what I have learnt after a decade in the Food & Beverage Industry
I have worked as a bartender – more specifically, a bar-back, a manual labourer who assists the bar captain with washing glassware.
I have worked as a barista, making coffee with expensive machines, at both slow-paced and fast-paced outlets.
I have worked as a cook, preparing dishes according to a specified recipe (I must have cooked tens of plates, if not hundreds of plates, throughout my cooking career.)
who can show me wisdom, when even the richest man on earth cannot save himself from the inevitable malfunction of his own body parts in old age, and death?
I looked up a old text, which warned of the dangers of heedlessness, and the reckless pursuit of distractions, in an unguarded moment of lack- of-wisdom.
Ten nights have passed since I last saw you
This morning looks so sunny
Walking next to strangers,
I want to see you again
I know you had a younger man beside you, at work
I had a younger woman beside me, at dinner
A mist stopped me from seeing your silhouette on the pink horizon
my voice was silent, I don't know why
Someone plays Beethoven's music in the background
nobody knows who Elise is
nobody knows who you are
anyway, how does Elise see Beethoven, did you ever wonder?
thank you,
thank you for loving me
now I know
even worms can taste happiness
as they die in the darkness.
When I rented a bed in a flat in Sengkang (not a room itself, but a bed in a room that I had to share with an incendiary older man who always seemed to sigh without even uttering a word) my landlady's fiance adopted a baby cat.
I watched it grow in size. It dashed around the cluttered place at 2 AM. Was it awake because I was awake, or the other way around? Or maybe it had its own life, and I was a mere witness; it would be self-absorbed of me, in a delusional way – egotistical – to think that its life revolved around my existence. No, no, my existence was no matter – she had a life entirely separate from mine. And I was the helpless little barely-intact ship that had gotten swept up in the maelstrom of her existence.
Hi guys, just a conversation starter prompted by a friend who is very involved in community organisation:
– What are people’s thoughts around the topic of mutual aid and charity?
– What do these terms mean to you, and how are they different?
– How do they show up in your life, if at all?
– What questions emerge from this brief reflection?
Let me answer briefly.
What are people’s thoughts around the topic of mutual aid and charity?
I think people do want to help others – who may not be related by blood to them – they just don't know how. (and, indeed, who to help). but my own experience has been that when I was in severe desperate need, the right help came at the right time.
“charity” seems like a tainted word in Singapore – incentivised by tax deductions and appearances on Lists of Honoured Donors -
“mutual aid” was something new to me, I only learnt about it during Covid times – but burn-out became a real thing – the organisers were burnt out – I wasn't an organiser, just a participant in my own small way – but my phone was ringing at strange hours with desperate, gut-wrenchingly worded requests for food and cash – it seemed I was slipping into an endless ocean of endless suffering.
I had to limit my own involvement in mutual aid, for my own peace-of-mind.
I have benefitted from the labours of poets and poetesses from decades past – and centuries past – and I have no way of expressing my gratitude except to “pay it forward” (as the younger set says) – I have received freely and now I give freely.
In no particular order, I list poems that have helped me at pivotal moments in my life.
