what I have learnt from a Fourth Space

July 8, 2025

From 8th August 2024 to the present day, I have been frequenting a Fourth Space.

And what is a Fourth Space, one may ask. If a Third Space is a physical location that is neither one's home nor office – think: Starbucks – then a Fourth Space is a Third Space with the co-existence of the Internet sphere. Think about conference venues with a live-stream where remote viewers can participate in the Question-and-Answer segment of a discussion panel. [footnote 1].

What I have learnt

I refer to a book by Brené Brown, titled: “Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone”.

That particular Fourth Space was – has been, and still is, and quite likely will be – a frightening wilderness. After almost a year, I have nearly forgotten how intimidating it was for me, to first open the door. Hence I think newcomers to the space will probably still feel that fright today. (Hence the importance of a welcoming host, behind the door.)

One year later, I can say to myself: you're doing fine by yourself in the wilderness. Congrats, you did it all alone. (With the help of your spiritual disciplines, of course.) And other people have appeared in the wilderness, and they are doing fine by themselves too. It's solitude meeting solitude.

It's a funny image but I think of a grizzly bear meeting a tiger, in a strange fictional rainforest where both are likely to cross paths, again and again. It's unpredictable what will happen between them: will they kiss? Or will they annoy the, ahem, shit out of each other, at the sight of each other's inevitable dung? Or will they just pretend each other doesn't exist?

To add a time-travelling twist – will they *gasp* cooperate to build a campfire to scare away other apex predators, like a *drum-roll* Velociraptor?

To add a sci-fi twist – will there be a clash of mecha titans at the Fourth Space???

So, to summarise: I have learnt a sense of self-confidence, and I have learnt to embrace the mix of thrill and anxiety that comes with stepping beyond the edges of your known universe.

And I learnt that some people just aren't comfortable with venturing beyond the edge of their comfort zone. (sometimes those people wear a pretty face in their everyday life). That's okay. As the old English saying goes: one man's meat is another man's poison.

The Fourth Space is a new wilderness every day. As the wise mystics say: “you don't cross the same river twice.”

I learnt that I can enjoy encountering a ever-new wilderness on a regular basis, over one year.

And I was respectful to everyone in the wilderness too. I'm more competent that I imagined! Wow! I didn't always know that.

So what is the impact on me?

I learnt that I do come alive – and light up, from the inside out – in moments of spontaneity. Imagine a stranger asking you when you have just bumped into each other on a busy urban street: “I'm going to visit a vast Nature Park tomorrow, want to come with me?”

I learnt that I am actually hoping – no, yearning – for more of such encounters in my life.

The question is: how can I put in place the necessary and sufficient conditions for such spontaneous encounters in my life?

It's not just an outward external circumstance that I must prepare and put in place, but an inward posture, a frame-of-mind. A deliberate posture of what some people have called the “C”s:

curiosity
craziness
courtesy
creativity
competence

And of course, the big “O”: (no, not that “O”, you naughty child)

open-mindedness

And I must put in a deliberate attempt to free up my schedule for such encounters, with what my acquaintances have called a “zero day”: a day with zero entries in your schedule for the day.

As a wiser and more eloquent human has put it: “Your leisure time is like a diamond in the rough. You can just leave it there and it will forever remain unpolished, unnoticed and insignificant – or you can polish it and suddenly it is sought-after by everyone you meet.”

But of course it is easier said than done. Sadly, modern urban life in a money-obsessed society means that the default path in one's life leads to one being drained of all leisure time. As Paul Millerd has observed in his book, (titled: “The pathless path: Imagining a new story for work and life”,) it requires conscious effort and deliberate intention to move away from the default path and step into the pathless path.

I realise that I'm not the same person as one year ago. I've had a taste of the pathless path, and now I want more of it.

what's next for me?

I have to think about how to finance a life of living – no, thriving, flourishing – infinitely, on the pathless path. Rent doesn't pay itself, after all.

I've looked into a few alternative lifestyles to see how other people have done it.

Sharing some resources below.

“Meet the woman who lives without money: ‘I feel more secure than when I was earning’.” an article in The Guardian. January 2025.

‘All through human history, true security has always come from living in community,’ says Jo Nemeth, who has lived without money for a decade.

Ten years ago, Jo Nemeth quit her job and closed her bank account. Today, she’s more committed than ever to her moneyless life.

(as reported by Louise Southerden).

“The Moneyless Man: A Year of Freeconomic Living”. a book by Mark Boyle, 2010.

Apparently this gentleman has caused quite a stir in his time (was it only 15 years ago?) because he talked to several mainstream media reporters about his year-long experiment.

Long story short, the climax of that one year was a “Moneyless Festival” where you could get top-quality music band performances and chef's creations, all without money. Just show up and enjoy.

If the book is to be believed, such a miracle did really happen.

And if we have faith, it will happen again. All over the world. Planet-wide.

I think of the free planetary-level light show, also known as the “backyard aurora in Australia”. (photos in an article in The Guardian, there.) Or the so-called Great American Eclipse, that affected tens of millions of humans, (back in 2024.)

“SG Food Rescue”. an umbrella term for a group of hardworking – though sometimes opinionated – volunteers.

Quoting from their website:

“Our operations consists mainly of preventing edible food from going into bins by rescuing unsellable foodstuff that would otherwise be thrown away, and redistributing it to people who can use it.”

What's next for me, you ask?

I just can't help wondering: can I live without money, for the rest of my life?

Maybe I cannot always avoid it – I'm not in dream-land, after all – but maybe I can be creative in my use of it. Creativity always flourishes best in uncertain circumstances, when the outcome is infinitely open-ended, and there is some kind of constraint on the process of creation (think of the strict limits on the haiku form of poetry).

This is a new area for me to apply creativity: financing whatever kind of lifestyle I may imagine for myself – or, heck, financing a lifestyle that is beyond any human's present-day imagination. Sounds exciting! And, lest I sound snobbish and narrow-minded, full-time employment is one of the “colours” in my “palette”! It doesn't have to be outside the realm of possibilities!

Full steam ahead, everyone! No time to lose! Fun and excitement – and *gasp* danger – awaits!

Let me repeat Ernest Shackleton's historical call for adventurers:

Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success.

(Sorry, Mr. Shackleton, I want to hire other genders besides males too. It's a different era now. But I get your idea. [Footnote 2])

And, let me quote from the Book of Deuteronomy, Chapter 20, verses 5 to 9 – about how priests should speak to the people, on the verge of warfare:

“Then the officers shall speak to the people, saying: ‘What man is there who has built a new house and has not dedicated it? Let him go and return to his house, lest he die in the battle and another man dedicate it. Also what man is there who has planted a vineyard and has not eaten of it? Let him go and return to his house, lest he die in the battle and another man eat of it. And what man is there who is betrothed to a woman and has not married her? Let him go and return to his house, lest he die in the battle and another man marry her.’

“The officers shall speak further to the people, and say, ‘What man is there who is fearful and fainthearted? Let him go and return to his house, lest the heart of his brethren faint like his heart.’ And so it shall be, when the officers have finished speaking to the people, that they shall make captains of the armies to lead the people.”

Are you the captain I am looking for?

Heck, it's not just me who is looking for a captain like you – Paul Millerd is, too. Talk to him, not me, okay? He's always looking for more people to join him on the pathless path. Me, I'm a bit more inward-facing than outward-facing.

Until next time!

footnotes:

Piotr (Peter) Boltuc. (2022). “The Fourth Space in the Fourth Revolution”. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.procs.2022.11.042
“Discerning History: Shackleton's Ad”. https://discerninghistory.com/2013/05/shackletons-ad-men-wanted-for-hazerdous-journey/