From 8th August 2024 to the present day, I have been frequenting a Fourth Space.
And what is a Fourth Space, one may ask. If a Third Space is a physical location that is neither one's home nor office – think: Starbucks – then a Fourth Space is a Third Space with the co-existence of the Internet sphere. Think about conference venues with a live-stream where remote viewers can participate in the Question-and-Answer segment of a discussion panel. [footnote 1].
What I have learnt
I refer to a book by Brené Brown, titled: “Braving the Wilderness:
The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone”.
That particular Fourth Space was – has been, and still is, and quite likely will be – a frightening wilderness. After almost a year, I have nearly forgotten how intimidating it was for me, to first open the door. Hence I think newcomers to the space will probably still feel that fright today. (Hence the importance of a welcoming host, behind the door.)
One year later, I can say to myself: you're doing fine by yourself in the wilderness. Congrats, you did it all alone. (With the help of your spiritual disciplines, of course.) And other people have appeared in the wilderness, and they are doing fine by themselves too. It's solitude meeting solitude.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
– Gospel of Matthew, chapter 5, verse 9
It is interesting how the Buddha has calmed down the warriors of two separate clans, who were on the verge of a war. (the story is there.)
I didn't set out to be a mediator. But, lest readers think more of me than my low estate, I shall keep the details of certain shenanigans to myself. Suffice to say that both professional workplaces and domestic abodes have seen their share of strife, whether overt or covert.
I have been working hard to find a peace-of-mind, which is so sought-after and yet so elusive. (Not even Prime Ministers and business-owners may find this peace-of-mind, though they may certainly boast of more gold bullions and nuclear bombs than me.)
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep;
'God is not dead, nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail, the Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!'
– H. W. Longfellow
I have never had a father’s protection from danger, and I have never had a mother’s tender touch.
Every passer-by could see I was lost and abandoned, but no one had the willingness to help; or, even if they had, they lacked the ability. They shook their heads, and said, “it’s sad to see this”, and then went on with their lives.
Trigger warning: this article contains scenes of violence and childhood trauma.
Growing up through childhood trauma, TONY had always wanted to escape from his family. This trauma would follow him through the years as he slipped into depression and alcohol addiction during university.
But as Tony wandered and lay aimlessly in Chinatown in the middle of the night… God reached out to him. This was the start of Tony’s road to recovery, as he discovered the love he had longed for all this time was to be found in Jesus.
I am a victim of child abuse.
Growing up, I experienced physical and emotional abuse from my parents, who were always very strict with me.
While I recognise that some of these rules and restrictions were for my good, I found that my parents’ reactions and way of implementing these rules were often out of hand.
