postcard to a mother I never had

(Written after reading Phyllis Chesler's “Letters to a Young Feminist”, Letter Twenty-two: Letter to a young feminist, who happens to be a man, who happens to be my son.)

You're stronger than I thought. I have been delusional and ignorant to think you were weak. Forgive me for that.

You took a great risk to love me the way you did. I'm grateful for that.

Why is it that boys leave their mothers in trying to become men? But you wonder if I would take a different path from other men.

I am foolish but I have wise friends. We're so close, my friends say, “I'm your sister”, and then nag me to prove it. I can't go too far off the right path if I take their advice. Assuming I take their advice. Just kidding.

Will I ever understand you, and you me? But what is this love that transcends language?

I know you love me.

I know you'll give me your blessing, if I ask you for it.

I want to emulate my father. We're a happy family, just the three of us.

I'm your son, I can't help but become like you. And it is your strength and wisdom that I wish to inherit.

I got to go now, can't talk more. See you again in Paradise of God, where no one can separate us.