What have I learnt from Jane?

My friend, Jane, is over 80 years old. I first met her in 2018 and I have learnt some valuable lessons from her.

  1. Don't stop learning new things. Surround yourself with people who encourage your learning adventures. Jane often bakes cakes for me to enjoy, whenever I visit her at her house. One day, she told me, “ I tried a new recipe for my cakes today, because I know you wouldn't mind. Let me know how the cake turned out. I expect you to be honest!” I was happy to be her “guinea pig”.
  2. Don't lose your sense of manners, in wider society. For example, Jane gently nudges me to be nice to the bus driver. Jane said, “Although such drivers wait patiently for passengers to run towards the bus and board it, those passengers often do not even say Thank You, once they have boarded the bus. It costs you no money to say something nice!” This reminds me of a popular saying: “It is nice to be important, but even more important to be nice.”
  3. Say something is silly when it really is. For example, some people want to appear civilised, so they call a domestic worker a “domestic helper” and feel aversion towards the term “servant”. But these very same people end up ill-treating their domestic helpers. Changing the name is silly when it doesn't reflect a deeper change in deeds and attitudes. I have learnt the word “sophistry” recently. According to Cambridge Dictionary, sophistry – a formal noun – is the clever use of arguments that seem true but are really false, in order to deceive people. I believe Jane wants me to avoid indulging in sophistry, as long as I breathe.
  4. Every religion-associated organisation has had its share of scandals. Although it may be tempting to do so, you shouldn't dismiss your Buddhist friend as immoral just because a few Buddhist monks have, by way of historical example, sexually assaulted – and impregnated – fellow nuns, in another part of the world. It all boils down to the individual practitioner.

I am, of course, scratching the surface of Jane's deep insights. I see, in her, a life well-lived. It is beautiful to witness, and I am inspired to live life as best as I can, whenever I think of Jane and all the obstacles she has overcome – all the times she has picked herself up when life knocked her down.

Thank you.

Jane is a pseudonym to protect my dear friend's identity.