have I had a mentor-figure in my life?

Deaconess Lian Suan recently shared in her sermon that she used to bemoan the fact that there were no mentor-figures in her life. (According to her definition, mentor-figures have to be of the same gender as the mentee). But then she realised that she did have one older female as her mentor – and then, the rest of her experience as a mentee was in a group setting, not one-to-one.

That got me wondering – have I really developed a sense of appreciation for the mentor-figures in my life?

Actually, words don't do them justice – “them” being the complex web of interdependence that I am part of. It is my privilege and joy to love and be loved in return.

Mystics of centuries-past say:

The lover, the beloved, and love – they all become one. And so does the beautiful beings, the beholding eye, and beauty.

Here, then, let me acknowledge the more-experienced humans in my life who have been a channel of Divine Blessing in my younger, more-immature years:

  1. Chris Jensen, who demonstrated the benefits of peer programming
  2. How Wei Keng, who taught me what a LAMP stack is, and how to launch a Web-page from my mind into cyberspace.
  3. Billy Kia, who demonstrated that a barista can be competent and enthusiastic – blurring the lines between work, play and joyful existence – over a sustained, consistent period of exertion, while honouring the dignity of customers, and grappling with the inevitable emotional friction that comes from working within a large organisation of complex, lovably imperfect humans.
  4. Bing Shao (“Kendrick”), who reminded me that there exists experts who can tell the difference between a chord in root position and a chord in an inversion – even if I delude myself into thinking that no one can tell the difference.
  5. countless others who do their work anonymously in a way that has brought blessings in my life.

Of course, I thank God, the Maker of this planet and its fullness thereof, for His forbearance with my frequent shortcomings as a steward of His beautiful garden.

Not to forget my beautiful sisters-in-Christ: Olivia, and Christine.

We are better together, and I thank God for that. I see now: interdependence, paired with healthy interpersonal boundaries, are better than a deluded sense of invulnerability, and better than co-dependence.

further reading

  1. Pia Mellody. (2003). 'The intimacy factor: The ground rules for overcoming the obstacles to truth, respect and lasting love.'
  2. Donna Hicks, PhD. “Dignity: Its essential role in resolving conflict”.
  3. Meg Jay. (2012). 'The defining decade: why your twenties matter and how to make the most of them now'.
  4. Anthony Robbins. 'Awaken The Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny'.
  5. W. Brad Johnson, and Charles R. Ridley. 'The elements of mentoring'.
  6. the Dhamma by the Buddha. “The wheel-turning monarch “.
  7. the Dhamma by the Buddha. Advantages of metta, or loving-kindness