in conversation with [redacted], an actor in big-budget movies
I shall apply Chatham House Rules, where no names nor affiliations may be revealed, though discussions may be reproduced outside of the discussion room.
Q: How do you handle fame? It's so easy to get lost in ego and fame. Bon Jovi said: “Fame is a liar and a thief. I've seen it ruin people. It is what I do, and I do it well, but it does not define me. I have a family, a business, and tennis.” Fame can be so destructive.
A: Don't define your worth based on who takes a photo with you after red-carpet events, or how many followers you have on social media. Find the people you look up to, such as directors or other actors, and ask them for their feedback on your craftsmanship as an actor. If you believe your own publicity, then you will also believe the negative comments.
Q: do you think your roles represent you as the person you want to be? You have worn many hats – you have been an actor, a producer, and a director.
A: [chuckles.] That's quite a meta- kind of question. [pause] I bring my best self to work. I show up on time. On set, I give everyone the time of day: the AD (Assistant Director), the ADPA (Assistant Director Production Assistant), and the caterer. There are so many people on set. And, I like tequila, [audience laughs] but 48 hours before a shoot, I avoid drinking. If you can hold your liquor, that's fine, but that's how I conduct myself. I don't know if this behaviour represents my race, my ethnicity, and my nationality, but that's what I do.
Q: how did it happen? How did you get inside the world of [redacted]?
A: Well, I met this guy, [redacted], in [redacted]. I don't know what possessed me, but I gave him a bunch of cards, and said, “Here are my head shots”. One year later, he called me up on a Thursday, and said, “The casting director wants to see you on Saturday, in [redacted].” Now, there was no way I could get from [redacted] to [redacted] on such short notice. And you know how casting calls work in [redacted], you have a specific time that you show up, say, 5.27 PM, and if you are not there, you're out. But, you know, my niece – she's here today, in the audience – and my mother, they went with me to the airport. They said, “It doesn't matter, the size [of your travel expenses]. This is your dream, right?”
So I flew over, I rented a car, and I went to [redacted]. And I was very jet-lagged, and I entered the room, and I saw ten other people, who all looked just like me. [audience laughs.] And, I have been directing for years, I haven't auditioned in a while, and my nerves were starting to get to me. And then I went into the room – there is a Flow state that musicians have, you know, where you just get lost in the music – well, I went into the room, and I said my lines, and then I left the room, and after that, I realised I couldn't recall what I did in that room. Not a thing.
And then I waited six weeks, paying for my lodging, out of my own pocket, and then they called me in for a second audition. And it gets even more nerve-racking, because you're closer now, but there's also a chance that everything could end for you, just like that [snaps fingers]. Behind actors' huge confidence is a huge sense of insecurity and fear. [audience giggles.]
And you think the Casting Director can get you in, but the Casting Director is just the beginning. You have to talk to the Studios, to see if they want you, and then you have to talk to the director. This director, [redacted], he meets people in person, for the smallest role. There was this character who has only one line in the whole movie – he says: [redacted] – and the director went to have coffee with him, just to hear him say that one line.
So, some time later, I was driving, and I got a call. And [redacted] said, “are you sitting down?” I said, “I'm not, I'm driving! But I will try to stop driving.” So I pulled into a gas station, and then she said, “You got it.”
And I don't have enough time to tell you everything that I have seen on set, the lovely actors I've met.
Sometimes I look at the sound stage, I look at the stunt crew, and I just let it all sink in. The night before, I'm rehearsing my lines in my head, and saying them out loud, over and over – so that it comes out as naturally as possible – but when I arrive on set, and see everything moving, I just have to let it sink in: “This is really happening.”